Broken Souls ... by Annay Dawson
Chapter 2
Kari didn’t even bother to go toward the kitchen for breakfast. It was almost routine now, every time she had this dream she skipped breakfast. Flicking off the light and pulling the apartment door closed behind her she made her way down the stairs out to the car. She would have liked to call it home, but it wasn’t. Oh the house was very cute and the way they had redone it into a couple of apartments hadn't taken away any of the charm, but it didn’t seem like a home, it seemed more like a stop over. If her job at the clinic went well maybe she would settle down here, look for a small house to buy. New Field was as good a town as any, and right now they needed her as much as she needed them. She wouldn’t go back to Richmond, couldn’t go back there, too many bad memories. There was also the fact that their friends, her friends now, were trying to fix her up. She didn't say anything to them but this made her unhappy because she wasn’t ready, wasn't sure she ever would be.
She hadn't wanted to leave the state, so when the opening at the clinic for a Medical Case Manager was the only thing she found that fit what she was qualified for and wanted to do she took it. Her only other choice was to take a position as an assistant manager at the department store in Lynchburg a few miles down the road from here. That wasn’t what she wanted and although walking into a health clinic was hard, it would have been nearly impossible to walk back into the hospital where she had worked a year ago. She had resigned shortly after Trevor had died against everyone’s advice but she knew she couldn’t keep walking back into the place where he had died.
New Field was a good six hours away from Richmond and the life that she was escaping. There she had managed the Human Resource department in one of the largest hospitals, which made her overqualified for this job in New Field. The job had been challenging and rewarding until that day when Trevor had been brought into the emergency room. She would never forget it. She had been there from the moment that he arrived and had had some hope of recovery until the moment that there was no hope left. It hadn’t taken her long to resign after they had 'pulled the plug'. She then lived off of her savings for a while as she hid from the world and herself.
It had been a rude awakening when she realized that life, as much as she hated the thought, would go on without Trevor, just not if she stayed in Richmond. That was when she applied for this job. When she interviewed with the director of the clinic he was open and honest with her and afraid that her qualifications would keep her from staying. Kari in return was just as honest about her qualifications and why she wanted this job. When she had explained everything to him, he hired her on the spot.
Kari walked down the street at a quick pace. She loved to walk, to run, and to hike. It was one of the reasons she had picked this area. The town itself wasn’t huge but it was large enough to house a medical clinic that served not only this town but also the surrounding countryside. That meant a lot of people and a few doctors. It kept them very busy. That was perfect. Her new job included doing home visits as well as routine office work. That meant that many days she would be out of the office traveling the area. It would make her be social again if only for her job. It was a big change for her and it would do her good. She could still do what she had wanted to in life, just not in a hospital. Not in a place that had caused her so much pain.
Taking in a deep breath she let the cool air fill her lungs. The day itself was brisk, not cold enough for a coat yet but brilliantly sunny. It almost made her smile as she walked down the street protected from the worst of the wind by the old two story houses that lined each side. The tall trees would obstruct the sun and provide much needed shade in the summer but for now, with their leaves of gold and reds, they added a much needed cheeriness to the day that she was still trying to feel.
Kari noticed the gradual change along the street from residential homes to business and offices. With her quick and steady pace she soon arrived at work. It had only been about a fifteen minute walk after she left the apartment. New Fields wasn’t home but with any luck it was her re-entry point to life, even Trevor’s sister had encouraged her to start doing something, anything, so she could start living again. Her exact words were, “It was time to stop holding a candle for what couldn’t be anymore,” and she had been right so Kari had ended up here. She paused for only a second on the bottom step. Taking a deep breath she turned and walked up the steps of the clinic and pushed open the door.
“Kari right?” it was the receptionist that greeted her before she even got two steps into the room.
“Yes and you are,” Kari hesitated. She knew she had seen her at the interview but couldn't remember her name.
“Jordan,” she smiled and got up to open the dividing door between the waiting room and the internal offices for Kari. She seemed to have a natural bounce to her, “Jordan Holmes and we are so glad to have you here on staff. The Director, Dr. McCoy, was sorry he couldn’t be here to welcome you today. He told me to give you his apologies especially since this is your first day and all but his wife went into labor last night and well, you can guess the rest,” Kari felt as if Jordan was doing a great job of welcoming her. She was really hoping for less attention. The less attention on her right now the better. Just the sheer fact that Jordan had finished talking while handing Kari a cup of coffee with one hand and a blueberry muffin for her other hand was quite impressive.
“Thank you so much," she said with a little shock and a genuine smile, "I didn’t know his wife was expecting,” Kari sipped at her coffee trying to ignore the muffin.
“How could you," she smiled and almost bounced down the hall, "you’ve just gotten here. But I’ll tell you we are so excited about it here. They have been trying for the last three years to have kids and this time it took. It’s a little boy. They plan on naming him James,” she smiled again, “So I’m afraid we will all be on pins and needles until we get the call saying that all went well. Speaking of that, the rest of the staff will be in within the next half hour or so. They were all waiting at the hospital as long as possible but are now reluctantly on their way. Patients will start to stream in here in about an hour,” Jordan walked her toward an office away from the examining rooms. “And here is your office,” the only thing she didn’t do was swing the door open with a ‘Ta-da’ but Kari could tell she wanted to do just that.
The first thing she noticed besides the ordinary functional furniture usually found in medical offices was that most of it was past it’s prime about five years ago. This was definitely a clinic that ran one of two ways, on a shoestring budget or so busy that there was no time for anything else. It didn’t matter though she wasn’t planning on spending much time here after the first few days and by the looks of the pile of files on her desk it may take a couple more days than she planned to get organized and then she could be out in the field. By the looks of it she could safely assume that the case manager before didn’t get to spend much time here either.
“Sorry about all the files, they just seem to keep piling up,” Jordan went into the room first and opened the curtains so that the sun streamed in.
“I thought that was why I was hired,” Kari set the muffin and the coffee down on the corner of the desk and smiled. “Actually I’m really looking forward to getting to work.”
“Then I’m glad you got the job,” Jordan moved toward the door, “Just yell if you need something. I will leave you alone to get to it. Door open or closed?” Jordan stood awaiting the answer with her hand on the doorknob.
“Open I think and Jordan,” Kari made it a point to honestly take it all in and smile, for the first time in a long time, “Thanks for the welcome.”
"My," and Jordan's shoulders relaxed as she smiled, "pleasure."
The next time that Kari looked at the clock it was a little past one and almost each and every person who worked here had stopped in to say ‘Hi’. It had been overwhelming and heart warming all at the same time. She had made more progress than she thought she would have. Half of the pile had been read and reviewed but she still had another stack next to the file cabinet that would take even longer. It was evident that they hadn’t had a case manager on staff for a while. Standing up to stretch she knew that the move and job choice had been a good one. She wouldn’t have any time to wallow in the past and she would feel useful again helping others. Who knew, maybe all this work may just help her as well. It was the best place for her to rejoin the world she had no other choice but to just dig in and do it.
The rest of the day went by about as fast. It was about three-thirty when Jordan stuck her head in and told Kari that the little boy, baby James, that Dr. and Mrs. McCoy had been waiting on just made his entrance into the world. He was seven pounds and six ounces and as healthy as could be.
“And the mom?” Kari felt the need to ask.
“Both parents are just beaming I hear, tired but beaming,” Jordan herself was smiling ear to ear. “Dr. McCoy will be back in the office next week I hear but it wouldn’t surprise me to see that change as well, so I guess you’re stuck with the rest of us for now.”
“Everyone has been great. I don’t think I will have any problems. In fact, I was able to schedule three appointments, home visits, tomorrow for follow ups on treatments and service.”
“Wow, that’s great,” Jordan was impressed. She had wondered a bit about Kari since she hadn't come out of her office except for the necessities all day long, but now some of that doubt was drifting away. “Well don’t burn yourself out even before you get started.”
“Hey, before you go what can you tell me about the Cortez family?” Kari had been particularly interested in his case. The boy was about eight years old and had a whole host of problems the mildest of which was asthma. The worst one was a gastroesophageal motility disorder, which caused him not to be able to eat normally. The parents and school had to feed him through a feeding tube. The clinic provided the parents and school with training and information. It was an important place to start for Kari. This family hadn’t had a visit in over two months, and the school hadn't been contacted in almost a year. It was the top priority for her to make sure their needs were met and the boy was getting the service he deserved.
“They are great people. Been thrown a whole lot of pain but they take it one day at a time and are always smiling. Why?” Jordan was looking at her but glancing back toward her desk every once in awhile to make sure she wasn’t missing anyone.
“I made an appointment to see them tomorrow. I think it's important that I meet them first. It’s been two months since they have seen a case manager from here and I just wanted a bit more background before I saw the mom tomorrow,” Kari closed the file on her desk.
“I’m glad you’re going to see them,” Jordan turned and hollered over her shoulder, “Be right with you,” then turned back, “If patterns hold he will be needing us rather soon. You don’t need to worry about them. They will appreciate it so much.”
“Glad to know that,” Kari said to Jordan’s back as she left the room. Kari glanced at her watch and thought she would put in one more hour before heading home. She still had so much to try and put away both in that small apartment and in her head, but after thinking that this was going to be so hard, she could be honest with herself. It had been the right time for her to move on and she was more relaxed for doing it.
An hour and a half later just before the rest of the staff was finished making all their reports for the day Kari packed up and closed her door. She hadn’t taken any lunch so she didn't feel bad leaving before everyone today. With what she had read this would probably be a rarity. On the walk home Kari noticed the small cafe she had seen in the morning. It was literally inside a cute little house that had to have been built back in the nineteen twenties in the transitional area between residential and business. The smells wafting from the windows would remind many people of grandma’s house and happier times and it called to Kari. Ready for happier times and memories her stomach made a huge rumbling noise. All these signs were trying to convince her to stop and eat. Turning toward the front door it seemed like a good idea, if nothing else, just to grab a bite before going back to the apartment that had very little food in it and sorting stuff.
As she walked up the three steps to the front door she was welcomed with a smile from another friendly person and ushered in and then to a table. Kari didn't take the time to get her name, instead, sitting down at the small table near the door she tried not to draw too much attention to herself. The room was rather large for the look of the building. There were at least ten tables that varied from being able to hold two people to those that help up to six. The room was painted a lovely blue and had a white wooden wainscot on the bottom of the wall. She suspected that there was another room that sat guests as well, but couldn't prove it right now. The windows were dressed up in pale yellow curtains with a billowy valance that waved gently as the fan blades moved the air about the room. The fireplace in the corner only had candles in it but soon would hold a warm friendly fire, just perfect for the look and feel of the place. The table and chairs were solid dark woods that had the weather looked of well-loved furniture and more importantly were comfortable to sit and relax on while the soft sounds of country music played in the background. It was like walking back in history, back into a time when she was little. She was happy then and life had just started.
It seemed perfect. After all she was trying to get back into life, her recreated life, and leave behind all the pain of the past. It was like starting all over again. Opening up the menu she noticed that it wasn’t a large menu but it was filled with comfort food of all kinds. It took Kari a few moments, everything sounded good so she made the easy decision, a half turkey sandwich and potato soup.
Pulling out the files she had packed for later she started to read them while she waited for her meal. The waitress and hostess tried a couple of times to make conversation but Kari had kept it short. She had talked to more people today than she had in the last three months and she was ready to just sit quietly. If she had food in her frig she may have gone home instead and not stopped here, but she would have missed out on something special. She didn't want to be rude but was happy when the waitress started to keep the conversational bits pleasant but short.
Kari didn't look away from the file when she picked up the spoon and placed it in the soup. Food had been for sustenance not for enjoyment ever since Trevor’s death. But her first bite of food made her stop reading for a moment. It was surprising how much she enjoyed the taste of the soup, the creamy texture in her mouth, and it's warmth, just the right temperature for eating. It had been a long time since she had appreciated the flavor and comfort of food. She wasn't quite ready to admit it, but New Field was making a good impression on her.
Kari didn’t even bother to go toward the kitchen for breakfast. It was almost routine now, every time she had this dream she skipped breakfast. Flicking off the light and pulling the apartment door closed behind her she made her way down the stairs out to the car. She would have liked to call it home, but it wasn’t. Oh the house was very cute and the way they had redone it into a couple of apartments hadn't taken away any of the charm, but it didn’t seem like a home, it seemed more like a stop over. If her job at the clinic went well maybe she would settle down here, look for a small house to buy. New Field was as good a town as any, and right now they needed her as much as she needed them. She wouldn’t go back to Richmond, couldn’t go back there, too many bad memories. There was also the fact that their friends, her friends now, were trying to fix her up. She didn't say anything to them but this made her unhappy because she wasn’t ready, wasn't sure she ever would be.
She hadn't wanted to leave the state, so when the opening at the clinic for a Medical Case Manager was the only thing she found that fit what she was qualified for and wanted to do she took it. Her only other choice was to take a position as an assistant manager at the department store in Lynchburg a few miles down the road from here. That wasn’t what she wanted and although walking into a health clinic was hard, it would have been nearly impossible to walk back into the hospital where she had worked a year ago. She had resigned shortly after Trevor had died against everyone’s advice but she knew she couldn’t keep walking back into the place where he had died.
New Field was a good six hours away from Richmond and the life that she was escaping. There she had managed the Human Resource department in one of the largest hospitals, which made her overqualified for this job in New Field. The job had been challenging and rewarding until that day when Trevor had been brought into the emergency room. She would never forget it. She had been there from the moment that he arrived and had had some hope of recovery until the moment that there was no hope left. It hadn’t taken her long to resign after they had 'pulled the plug'. She then lived off of her savings for a while as she hid from the world and herself.
It had been a rude awakening when she realized that life, as much as she hated the thought, would go on without Trevor, just not if she stayed in Richmond. That was when she applied for this job. When she interviewed with the director of the clinic he was open and honest with her and afraid that her qualifications would keep her from staying. Kari in return was just as honest about her qualifications and why she wanted this job. When she had explained everything to him, he hired her on the spot.
Kari walked down the street at a quick pace. She loved to walk, to run, and to hike. It was one of the reasons she had picked this area. The town itself wasn’t huge but it was large enough to house a medical clinic that served not only this town but also the surrounding countryside. That meant a lot of people and a few doctors. It kept them very busy. That was perfect. Her new job included doing home visits as well as routine office work. That meant that many days she would be out of the office traveling the area. It would make her be social again if only for her job. It was a big change for her and it would do her good. She could still do what she had wanted to in life, just not in a hospital. Not in a place that had caused her so much pain.
Taking in a deep breath she let the cool air fill her lungs. The day itself was brisk, not cold enough for a coat yet but brilliantly sunny. It almost made her smile as she walked down the street protected from the worst of the wind by the old two story houses that lined each side. The tall trees would obstruct the sun and provide much needed shade in the summer but for now, with their leaves of gold and reds, they added a much needed cheeriness to the day that she was still trying to feel.
Kari noticed the gradual change along the street from residential homes to business and offices. With her quick and steady pace she soon arrived at work. It had only been about a fifteen minute walk after she left the apartment. New Fields wasn’t home but with any luck it was her re-entry point to life, even Trevor’s sister had encouraged her to start doing something, anything, so she could start living again. Her exact words were, “It was time to stop holding a candle for what couldn’t be anymore,” and she had been right so Kari had ended up here. She paused for only a second on the bottom step. Taking a deep breath she turned and walked up the steps of the clinic and pushed open the door.
“Kari right?” it was the receptionist that greeted her before she even got two steps into the room.
“Yes and you are,” Kari hesitated. She knew she had seen her at the interview but couldn't remember her name.
“Jordan,” she smiled and got up to open the dividing door between the waiting room and the internal offices for Kari. She seemed to have a natural bounce to her, “Jordan Holmes and we are so glad to have you here on staff. The Director, Dr. McCoy, was sorry he couldn’t be here to welcome you today. He told me to give you his apologies especially since this is your first day and all but his wife went into labor last night and well, you can guess the rest,” Kari felt as if Jordan was doing a great job of welcoming her. She was really hoping for less attention. The less attention on her right now the better. Just the sheer fact that Jordan had finished talking while handing Kari a cup of coffee with one hand and a blueberry muffin for her other hand was quite impressive.
“Thank you so much," she said with a little shock and a genuine smile, "I didn’t know his wife was expecting,” Kari sipped at her coffee trying to ignore the muffin.
“How could you," she smiled and almost bounced down the hall, "you’ve just gotten here. But I’ll tell you we are so excited about it here. They have been trying for the last three years to have kids and this time it took. It’s a little boy. They plan on naming him James,” she smiled again, “So I’m afraid we will all be on pins and needles until we get the call saying that all went well. Speaking of that, the rest of the staff will be in within the next half hour or so. They were all waiting at the hospital as long as possible but are now reluctantly on their way. Patients will start to stream in here in about an hour,” Jordan walked her toward an office away from the examining rooms. “And here is your office,” the only thing she didn’t do was swing the door open with a ‘Ta-da’ but Kari could tell she wanted to do just that.
The first thing she noticed besides the ordinary functional furniture usually found in medical offices was that most of it was past it’s prime about five years ago. This was definitely a clinic that ran one of two ways, on a shoestring budget or so busy that there was no time for anything else. It didn’t matter though she wasn’t planning on spending much time here after the first few days and by the looks of the pile of files on her desk it may take a couple more days than she planned to get organized and then she could be out in the field. By the looks of it she could safely assume that the case manager before didn’t get to spend much time here either.
“Sorry about all the files, they just seem to keep piling up,” Jordan went into the room first and opened the curtains so that the sun streamed in.
“I thought that was why I was hired,” Kari set the muffin and the coffee down on the corner of the desk and smiled. “Actually I’m really looking forward to getting to work.”
“Then I’m glad you got the job,” Jordan moved toward the door, “Just yell if you need something. I will leave you alone to get to it. Door open or closed?” Jordan stood awaiting the answer with her hand on the doorknob.
“Open I think and Jordan,” Kari made it a point to honestly take it all in and smile, for the first time in a long time, “Thanks for the welcome.”
"My," and Jordan's shoulders relaxed as she smiled, "pleasure."
The next time that Kari looked at the clock it was a little past one and almost each and every person who worked here had stopped in to say ‘Hi’. It had been overwhelming and heart warming all at the same time. She had made more progress than she thought she would have. Half of the pile had been read and reviewed but she still had another stack next to the file cabinet that would take even longer. It was evident that they hadn’t had a case manager on staff for a while. Standing up to stretch she knew that the move and job choice had been a good one. She wouldn’t have any time to wallow in the past and she would feel useful again helping others. Who knew, maybe all this work may just help her as well. It was the best place for her to rejoin the world she had no other choice but to just dig in and do it.
The rest of the day went by about as fast. It was about three-thirty when Jordan stuck her head in and told Kari that the little boy, baby James, that Dr. and Mrs. McCoy had been waiting on just made his entrance into the world. He was seven pounds and six ounces and as healthy as could be.
“And the mom?” Kari felt the need to ask.
“Both parents are just beaming I hear, tired but beaming,” Jordan herself was smiling ear to ear. “Dr. McCoy will be back in the office next week I hear but it wouldn’t surprise me to see that change as well, so I guess you’re stuck with the rest of us for now.”
“Everyone has been great. I don’t think I will have any problems. In fact, I was able to schedule three appointments, home visits, tomorrow for follow ups on treatments and service.”
“Wow, that’s great,” Jordan was impressed. She had wondered a bit about Kari since she hadn't come out of her office except for the necessities all day long, but now some of that doubt was drifting away. “Well don’t burn yourself out even before you get started.”
“Hey, before you go what can you tell me about the Cortez family?” Kari had been particularly interested in his case. The boy was about eight years old and had a whole host of problems the mildest of which was asthma. The worst one was a gastroesophageal motility disorder, which caused him not to be able to eat normally. The parents and school had to feed him through a feeding tube. The clinic provided the parents and school with training and information. It was an important place to start for Kari. This family hadn’t had a visit in over two months, and the school hadn't been contacted in almost a year. It was the top priority for her to make sure their needs were met and the boy was getting the service he deserved.
“They are great people. Been thrown a whole lot of pain but they take it one day at a time and are always smiling. Why?” Jordan was looking at her but glancing back toward her desk every once in awhile to make sure she wasn’t missing anyone.
“I made an appointment to see them tomorrow. I think it's important that I meet them first. It’s been two months since they have seen a case manager from here and I just wanted a bit more background before I saw the mom tomorrow,” Kari closed the file on her desk.
“I’m glad you’re going to see them,” Jordan turned and hollered over her shoulder, “Be right with you,” then turned back, “If patterns hold he will be needing us rather soon. You don’t need to worry about them. They will appreciate it so much.”
“Glad to know that,” Kari said to Jordan’s back as she left the room. Kari glanced at her watch and thought she would put in one more hour before heading home. She still had so much to try and put away both in that small apartment and in her head, but after thinking that this was going to be so hard, she could be honest with herself. It had been the right time for her to move on and she was more relaxed for doing it.
An hour and a half later just before the rest of the staff was finished making all their reports for the day Kari packed up and closed her door. She hadn’t taken any lunch so she didn't feel bad leaving before everyone today. With what she had read this would probably be a rarity. On the walk home Kari noticed the small cafe she had seen in the morning. It was literally inside a cute little house that had to have been built back in the nineteen twenties in the transitional area between residential and business. The smells wafting from the windows would remind many people of grandma’s house and happier times and it called to Kari. Ready for happier times and memories her stomach made a huge rumbling noise. All these signs were trying to convince her to stop and eat. Turning toward the front door it seemed like a good idea, if nothing else, just to grab a bite before going back to the apartment that had very little food in it and sorting stuff.
As she walked up the three steps to the front door she was welcomed with a smile from another friendly person and ushered in and then to a table. Kari didn't take the time to get her name, instead, sitting down at the small table near the door she tried not to draw too much attention to herself. The room was rather large for the look of the building. There were at least ten tables that varied from being able to hold two people to those that help up to six. The room was painted a lovely blue and had a white wooden wainscot on the bottom of the wall. She suspected that there was another room that sat guests as well, but couldn't prove it right now. The windows were dressed up in pale yellow curtains with a billowy valance that waved gently as the fan blades moved the air about the room. The fireplace in the corner only had candles in it but soon would hold a warm friendly fire, just perfect for the look and feel of the place. The table and chairs were solid dark woods that had the weather looked of well-loved furniture and more importantly were comfortable to sit and relax on while the soft sounds of country music played in the background. It was like walking back in history, back into a time when she was little. She was happy then and life had just started.
It seemed perfect. After all she was trying to get back into life, her recreated life, and leave behind all the pain of the past. It was like starting all over again. Opening up the menu she noticed that it wasn’t a large menu but it was filled with comfort food of all kinds. It took Kari a few moments, everything sounded good so she made the easy decision, a half turkey sandwich and potato soup.
Pulling out the files she had packed for later she started to read them while she waited for her meal. The waitress and hostess tried a couple of times to make conversation but Kari had kept it short. She had talked to more people today than she had in the last three months and she was ready to just sit quietly. If she had food in her frig she may have gone home instead and not stopped here, but she would have missed out on something special. She didn't want to be rude but was happy when the waitress started to keep the conversational bits pleasant but short.
Kari didn't look away from the file when she picked up the spoon and placed it in the soup. Food had been for sustenance not for enjoyment ever since Trevor’s death. But her first bite of food made her stop reading for a moment. It was surprising how much she enjoyed the taste of the soup, the creamy texture in her mouth, and it's warmth, just the right temperature for eating. It had been a long time since she had appreciated the flavor and comfort of food. She wasn't quite ready to admit it, but New Field was making a good impression on her.
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