Broken Souls ... by Annay Dawson
Chapter 10
Three hours later Holden was pulling into the clinic's parking lot. Part of the deal he had made with the base doctor that first treated him was that he would make and keep, they had stressed keep, routine appointments while he was healing. Later he had to promise to keep up with the appointments with a doctor in town here. He thought the base doctor had him under some PTSD watch. He wasn’t part of the special unit he had been writing about so he didn’t have to follow orders. He only did so to keep his embedded status open.
So he did his research, made the arrangements, and had the records sent to Dr. McCoy and only him. If he was going to have to be checked out and checked up on then it would be by someone he trusted. Dr. McCoy wouldn’t send back a report that would put him on some suicide watch list, or worse a list that would get him grounded. Holden had chosen him specifically because of his history and after a trip to the clinic a few years back with Mia and Addison. He had made quite an impression on him. McCoy was a nice guy and he was easy to talk to. Best yet was that he understood what types of places Holden had been in and why it was so important for him to continue to write from those places. Dr. McCoy's brother was Navy.
Walking into the waiting room he noticed that every chair was full and the play area had a few kids in it. Following the routine he went up to the counter and signed in then took a newly vacated seat. Picking up an old copy of a hunter’s magazine he settled in for what he assumed would be a long wait.
“Mr. Parker,” he looked up a little surprise. It had only been about five minutes,. He hadn't even gotten through one article on the proper way to build a duck blind but he guessed that he had paperwork to complete and of course there was the money that had to be paid. Had to get it right so that the government could get reimbursed. Standing up he walked up to the counter.
“Yes,” he said as he approached.
“Mr. Parker,” Jordan looked up. He had been here every one to two weeks for the last two months. She just loved the way he glided up to the counter and the way he carried himself. His face was serious, always serious, but she could see that he had laughed a lot at one time. He had the lines to prove it, “Dr. McCoy is not in this week so we have you seeing Dr. Taylor today.”
“I think we will need to reschedule my appointment then,” Holden didn’t want to see a different doctor. First things first, he wasn’t going to see a new doctor and have his file available to new eyes. It was bad enough that it had been seen by anyone else at all but at least he had reached an agreement with Dr. McCoy. He knew that Dr. McCoy understood just what to report back and what not to say so that his chances of being embedded again weren’t dashed. The base doctor would just have to wait an extra week for the next report.
“Dr. Taylor is very good and since Dr. McCoy is home,” but that was as far as Jordan got before Holden spoke again.
“I am sure Dr. Taylor is a great doctor but it’s just not that important that I see a doctor today and as I can see the waiting room is overflowing with those who really need the good doctor’s services more than I do,” Holden was as polite as he could be and he kept his voice even and calm as he smiled and started to back away.
“Okay Mr. Parker,” Jordan was so busy talking to Holden that she didn’t see Kari come up behind her, just out of sight of the window. “Dr. McCoy should have an opening on,” and again he stopped her.
“You know, I already have an appointment in two weeks so I’ll just skip this appointment. I’m sure it will be fine,” and he turned to leave.
“Mr. Parker,” he stopped. He knew that voice, except it was in the wrong place. Turning back around slowly as his smile widened, this time touching the corners of his eyes. He caught sight of the woman he had had coffee with this morning only this time she wasn’t dressed in jeans and a bulky sweater jacket. No, she was dressed in a deep blue silky top that hugged all her curves just right. It would have been easier to see all those curves without the cardigan she wore over the top of it, but harder to keep his thoughts where they were supposed to be. Not that he minded too much because the cardigan looked very soft and with any luck he might get to test that theory one day. He let his eyes drift down her long legs that happened to not be in jeans but dark gray linen pants that seemed to flow gracefully around her legs and back up to her very nice bottom.
“Why good morning Ms. Jackson. What a lovely surprise,” he said as his eyes slowly slid back up to meet hers. Whatever forces were causing them to meet up over and over again he silently thanked. She was nothing like the cautious woman he had met up by the pond this morning. Right now she looked confident and self-assured, “Didn’t know you worked here.”
“Yes, I’m the case manager here for those who have ongoing issues,” and that made sense with what he already knew about her. It would explain meeting her outside of the Cortez’s house yesterday as well. “Could I interest you in a cup of coffee?” He would love to have another cup of coffee with her but the way she carried herself right now would suggest he should not. She was in full business mode with her shoulders straight and solid. The last thing he wanted was to become another case in her file cabinet. It would really murky up things. He had asked the good doctor to keep people away from his file, and Holden had to assume he had. If he were going to spend time with her he wanted it to be Kari the outdoor hiker he spent time with and not Ms. Jackson the clinic's case manager. No, he had other plans for Kari and how they might spend some time together. He had so many things he wanted to know about her but why Kari was so afraid of getting to know someone personally instead of professionally now topped of the list.
“Well,” and she noticed that his eyes didn’t look away from her at all as he spoke. In fact the intensity of his stare was making her insides squirm and warm her in places that she hadn’t thought about for quite a long time. She wasn’t sure if it was good or bad, but she was becoming more curious to find out which. He then continued, “I’m afraid that I need to be somewhere in about an hour and that wouldn’t be enough time for me to do,” and yes he paused right there leaving just enough time for her imagination to boil but he had been careful enough not to lose eye contact with her, “coffee with you.”
“Yes, alright,” her voice shook a bit as she brushed the imaginary strand of hair from her face and took a step back. She could feel the heat in her cheeks. There was a tiny but audible intake of air near her and it was then that she remembered that Jordan was right there seeing all this whole encounter. “I guess then I’ll have to take a rain check.” She tried to ignore Jordan, who if she had to guess, was grinning ear to ear by now.
“Or maybe I’ll just see you in the morning,” his lazy voice said it all, “again,” and, even though Kari did think it was possible, his smile widened. He was being careful not to pressure her too much, but boy were there innuendoes. She hadn’t pulled back or retreated just yet so he decided to push just a bit more, “I’ll bring coffee again just in case,” and with that he turned to walk out, but Kari could only describe it as a glide, a smooth confident flowing motion.
“I take it that you know him,” Jordan broke Kari's concentration on his best assets but kept her voice low. Kari could hear the unspoken questions there.
“Met him while I was hiking a couple of days ago,” she tried to keep her voice even as she hugged the files she was holding to her chest. She wasn’t sure she had been able to though.
“Oh my,” Jordan said with a crooked smile.
“No, nothing like that,” her arms tightened on the files, “he was swimming in the pond just off the trail and I happened to wander over toward the pond. And…,” and what? Caught him changing and had herself a good look. She couldn’t say that, but maybe it was too late to save herself. She had already said way more than she should have. The pause had been way too long.
“Say no more, say no more, at least not here. He’s quite a hunk and even I would have stopped to watch him do a lap or two or…,” and she pretended to go back to work.
“Jordan I really didn’t see anything,” there was no way she was going to include the part where he had advised her to turn around before she did, “I was just curious as to who would be swimming on such a cold morning,” Kari didn’t have time to finish before Jordan cut her off again.
“He’s been coming in here every week or two for the past two months. He’s quiet, polite and quite a good-looking piece of work so I have had no complaints. Never really talks to anyone here. Lives around here, but until now has never been in. Requested Dr. McCoy,” and now she looked up at Jordan, “still have no idea why he comes in; never get to see his real file only the fake one. Seems to be this big secret.”
“I’m surprised,” Kari said to no one in particular as Dr. Taylor’s nurse came over to grab the next file and she discovered for herself that Jordan was right, the file couldn’t have more than one or two sheets of paper in it. Not nearly enough for all the appointments Jordan had said he had made here.
“Wait, not that one. He left,” Jordan had swung her chair in that direction. The nurse looked at the rather thin file and then put it down.
“No surprise there. Dr. Taylor was betting he would leave instead of coming in,” and she grabbed the next file and walked over, opened the door and called the name on the file. Kari looked at Holden’s file. If there was something he was coming in that often for the file should have been much bigger. What also was strange was that his file wasn’t in her pile. If it was chronic condition or long term thing then she should have it. She wasn’t sure if she should be mad or glad about that. If she had his real file it could prevent other things from happening. With that thought the pictured of him changing out of his shirt quickly sprung to mind. She shook and tried to get her mind back on what she should be doing.
Holden stepped outside the clinic and took a deep breath of air. He hadn’t wanted to see the doctor this week and as it turned out fate had lent him a hand. It was true that Dr. McCoy had to report back on his physical and mental condition. His wounds were all but healed now, it was his head that the good doctors back at the base and here were still worried about, not that he talked much about any of it. The Navy had been insistent. He had been hurt on their watch and they would provide for everything he needed; that also meant following their rules. Holden had chosen to be a freelance journalist a long time ago because he didn’t like following rules. By doing what he did he wrote most of his own rules, chose the ones he wanted to follow, except for this last assignment. Over the years he had won many awards and his writing style heralded, but that didn’t change the fact that the Navy had him under agreement right now, and he had to do as they said if he ever wanted to get back in the field to do reporting with their teams.
In the last six months it hadn’t been any of the doctors that had done him the most good. It had been the swimming, even in cold water, that had helped with his recovery, and the time with his family. Pretty soon though he would have to stop swimming and he had to admit that talking to Dr. McCoy would help to fill in that gap. He would never be able to tell Addy everything. Even Holden knew that it wouldn’t be good for her to know. When that too cold day came he would go to the gym here in town to work off some frustration until he figured out what to do with his life.
By that time most of the scars would be either gone or not so angry looking. He had been lucky. Most of the damage had been confined to his right leg, the right side of his torso, and most of it hadn’t been life changing physically, or visible, unless his clothes were off.
Walking to his truck he thought about the time he had left here. It wouldn't be long if he wanted his old life back. He had been advised to be on at least two months medical leave after they dismissed him from the hospital and then the head shrink had gotten to him and advised he take a bit more. Funny, for not being part of the teams, they were keeping close tabs on him. Could be they be afraid of their liability for his injuries or, more to point, to make sure he wasn’t able to tell the real story. If he had his guesses it would have been the later.
Climbing into his truck he turned the key and the motor rattled to life. Backing out of the space rather quickly he then slowed down as he turned out of the lot. Thinking back to what the government psychologist had said always upset him a bit. The man had decided that not only should he have the two months of medical away from the troops, in clear language no more embedded missions until the base physic okayed it. If it was up to that doctor Holden should have at least three or more months mental leave. A death sentence in his field if he didn’t pass the psych's test when he went back in. They weren’t going to embed a journalist with mental issues. He wasn’t sure why he had needed the time. Everyone had ghosts that haunted them in their lives. Now he had a few more, so what was the big deal.
When he had been cleared to travel he headed for the only place he knew that he would be safe from his thoughts, loved not questioned, and they would not be able to keep him under the microscope. He had come to New Field, trying to get better and get back to work or so he thought. The work part was 'if' not 'when' now. He may be fairly safe from the military's eyes but the editors and publishers had been contacting him relentlessly for the last month with some interesting offers. His email had been crammed full on the days he had chosen to check it. Some of the offers were so good he was really considering taking one. It would allow him to spend more time with Mia and Addy. He knew it would make them both happy. Addy wouldn't have to worry about him so much if he took that assignment and that would make her happy. What he had to decide was what would make him happy.
He pulled into the school parking lot and parked next to Addy’s car. At least he had spent quite a bit of time with them, even if it wasn't all quality time, and Addy hadn’t asked too many questions until this morning. Fair enough. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have them but she knew better than to ask them until she had gotten good and pissed. Oh she may have batted an eye or two when he had said something about a career change, but she didn’t ask. If he had to guess, she didn’t ask because she was afraid of pushing him away. To her it must have looked like he was in danger of falling over some edge. He hadn't been sure until this morning that someone had called her before he arrived. If they had told her anything he was pretty sure she got the Armed Force's version of the story. Even if that edge existed and she was afraid of him falling or jumping over it he was always grateful for not getting any interrogations from her.
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