Broken Souls ... by Annay Dawson
Chapter 16
"Hi," Holden had thought he had time to change out of his wet clothes. He had just whipped off his shirt when she walked into the small clearing. Mortified, she would be able to see all the scars, all the red angry tissue still fighting to heal. He started to grab for his towel.
Kari was taken by surprise. Either she was early or he was late. The last few mornings he had already been dressed so she hadn't slowed her pace this morning. The look of shock and fear surprised her for only a minute.
"It's okay," she knew he was embarrassed by his scars. From far away she never would have seen then but up close the damage was clear. Taking a step forward she took the towel from his hands and gently patted down his torso making sure to not make any distinctions between his scarred skin and what had been left unscarred. He stood frozen in time and space as he watched her. She didn't seem to notice what skin was normal and which was forever marked by the event. In fact, she seemed to take interest in the activity, not the look of his torso. Goosebumps spread over the skin where they could, and he sighed ever so slightly. Mistaking the sigh and the goosebumps for something else, Kari reached down and picked up his shirt, silently handing it to him. Obediently he put it on.
"I," he was having a hard time talking, and suddenly well aware that the effect of the cold water wasn't going to save him embarrassment if he didn't get moving, "need to go over there," and he pointed toward the bushes.
"I'll get breakfast ready," and without saying anything else she turned and pulled out the blanket from the pack letting him grab his pants and move just out of view.
By the time he got home this morning he was still reeling from the start of breakfast. His facial expression was one of pleasure and trepidation. How would she think of him now that she had time to think about what she saw? After all she had been through this kind of pain before, would she be willing to chance it again with him. Hopping from his truck he was just in time to see Addy and Mia piling into the car. Mia abandoned her things and came running at him, full speed. Catching her in his arms he swung her round and laughed with her trying to forget all the worries and cares of the the morning. He caught a glimpse of Addison out of the corner of his eye and saw her smile. Only this time it was a relaxed smile, one that he recognized and realized now that he hadn’t seen in a while. It was her 'everything was going to be alright' smile.
“Off you go to school Me-Me,” and he dropped her and flipped her round to head back to the car.
“Uncle Den,” she sighed in protest.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be showing up at school today so you better be there,” he had promised to come in two to three times a week and today was the day. He had recovered from the last couple of times, and kind of enjoyed working with the kids now.
“Yeah!” she squealed as she ran back to the car.
“See you for lunch again?” Addison questioned with half a smile and one raised eyebrow in question.
“Only if I can bring something in this time. Two school lunches are my limit,” and he slammed the truck door closed.
“Sure,” another questioning look only this time more worry showed in her eyes. Holden smiled and nodded. Whatever she saw in his face made her relax, “Deal.”
Kari had told him this morning’s appointments had her jumping from one place to another. They had agreed to meet after she got done late this afternoon for coffee and to see where it went from there. As Holden did a few chores around the house and then checked his email he couldn’t help but hope that this afternoon’s coffee would lead to a repeat of last night’s kiss, only this time he hoped it would be a bit longer and a whole lot more. Pulling into the sandwich shop he hopped out of the truck and ran in to make a quick order before heading off to school.
Kari arrived at the elementary at about ten thirty that morning. She still had a full day ahead of her, meetings and paperwork, and she wanted, more than she had in a long time, to get done early. This morning she had talked more about Trevor than she ever had to anyone since his death. It wasn’t in great detail, but it was a start. Holden had listened quietly not trying to give snippets of condolences or feign understanding. He just walked and listened. Maybe it was seeing his injuries and how he had overcome them that had made her talk. After all he was reminded daily of his loss just by looking in the mirror. He understood the depths of her loss in a way no one else did and knew there wasn’t anything he could say that would change what had happened or how she felt. What she didn’t understand was when she asked him more about what happened to him he had clammed up. Said it was still under investigation. He did tell her that he had lost a couple of good friends when the helicopter had gone down. Maybe his scars, like the ones that she had gently dried, were still too raw.
“You see, they didn’t just treat me like a journalist. I went out each morning and did PT, physical training, with them. I’ve always kept in shape so it was easy to keep up,” and Kari could attest to that. It had been a good thing they were hiking by the time he revealed that information, the exertion helped to cover the blush in her cheeks as she remembered touching his body. “They began to see me more as a colleague and less as a journalist. Talked to me more even though they knew I was there to write about them.” He stopped and waited until they got past a particularly rough spot, “I always let them read the articles first, add and subtract what they wanted. They trusted me, trusted that I would tell their story,” Kari smiled at that. With each little bit she learned about him she grew more and more attracted to him.
This morning had been so different. First she had spent half of the night mulling over his kiss. She wasn’t really mulling it over, she had to admit she was reliving it. Holden was a good kisser. He had been slow and thorough during that kiss. He wasn’t in a hurry to deepen it, in fact he had been so slow and patient that it had left her wanting more. He seemed content last night to just enjoy each and every spot of her lips. Kari wished she could have said the same. As the kiss continued she found herself wanting. That had scared her and she had pulled back. It had her wondering now if she should have given in and allowed herself the pleasure to see where it would lead. By the time the walk was over and they had bared a bit more of their souls to each other. She was ready. This time as they kissed at the end of the hike he pulled back again before the kiss deepened. Her eyes opened slowly but in time to see his eyes sparkle. She knew that there were promises locked inside of them for things to come, and that is why she was having a very hard time not thinking of Holden right now.
It also didn't help that she had been so brazen this morning. Just what had gotten into her she didn't know. This morning she had been more forward than she had ever thought she could be but it seemed so right. Now, she couldn't help but think of how hard, solid, his chest had been. Yes it had been very scared and angry looking, but it was also nothing he should be ashamed of, and he was ashamed of it. She wanted him to know that she didn't see him any differently knowing what she knew now. If she had to be honest, she was more drawn to him now.
Kari pulled into the first open spot and grabbed her bag. As she walked toward the front office she noticed Dr. Anderson pull in as well. Her thoughts drifted from Holden and back to Daniel. With any luck this would be simple and routine and only take about an hour.
“Cindy, you’re killing me,” Holden whispered with a smile to her after the second group that morning. The first two groups had been especially challenging. Two of them literally could not sit still and had pushed the chairs away three or four times during the fifteen or so minutes he had been with them. He had finally stopped asking them to sit back down, it was easier to have them leaning on the table as they read.
“Never said it was easy,” and she handed him another set of books, “The weather is changing and my little barometers are bouncing all over the place today.”
“Mrs. Warren,” the intercom crackled to life.
“Yes.”
“We need Daniel up in the nurse’s office,” Penny’s voice echoed into the room.
“On his way,” and Cindy looked over at Daniel to make sure he was getting up and heading for the door.
“Aw,” was his response, “It was my turn to read with Mr. Parker.” Holden dislodged himself from the small chair and walked Daniel to the door.
“Tell you what buddy,” and he leaned over so only Daniel could hear him, “I’ll make sure we have time to read a book together when you get back,” and putting his hand on Daniel’s head he ruffled his hair.
“Really?” Daniel smiled when he saw Holden nod his head. “Okay,” and he went happily out the door. It was about forty minutes later and two more groups before Holden was done and Cindy was taking the class to lunch. Pulling out the sandwiches and placing them on the table Holden was waiting for Cindy and Addison to come back in the room. His knees weren’t really up around his ears but it felt that way. How his sister and Cindy did this day in and out amazed him. He looked back at the clock and realized that Daniel hadn’t come back yet. Deciding to wander up to the nurse’s office to check on him he ran into Addison.
“Hey, where you going?” Addison grabbed Holden by the hands and held on, “I thought we were having lunch together today.” With his back to the front desk Holden stopped and was about to answer Addison when he heard a very familiar voice behind him.
“It was wonderful to meet you Penny,” and Kari put her scarf down on the counter as she turned to put on her jacket. What she saw in that moment and what she thought she saw only took seconds to connect. She immediately jumped headlong to the wrong conclusions. Right in front of her eyes she could see Holden standing there holding hands no less, with a woman who he obviously knew. That’s when she felt it, a cold that seeped deep into her bones. Only tis cold was not from the outside weather, but from inside herself. With her smile quickly fading she fumbled and grabbed her case. She hurriedly turned for the door barely holding it altogether.
“Wait, your scarf,” Penny’s voice was lost as Kari pushed through the door. Holden turned in time to see her bolt from the building.
“Oh no,” Addison dropped Holden’s hands, “That was…”
“Yes,” and before she could say anything more he moved swiftly toward the door. Addison walked over to the front counter before heading for the door.
“I’ll take that to her,” and moving slower than she normally would she left Penny sitting there, speechless.
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